When former Nirvana front man Kurt Cobain was alive, he filled dozens
of notebooks with lyrics, drawings, letters and diary entries. Now, eight
years after his tragic suicide, Journals has been published, giving
the world a glimpse of these very private confessions. Finally Cobain
fans will get to know the real Kurt. Here's an excerpt:
For years, Kurt was plagued by chronic stomach problems. Here he complains
about them, non-stop.
It's been three weeks and the stomach pains are getting worse. At first
I thought it was the raunchy Mexican food I ate at Tortilla Flats but
now I'm thinking it's something else. I'm now up to a box of Malox a day.
I went to the doctor and he said I should take some pain killers. I hate
those things. I know I'll get addicted. I get addicted to everything.
I just weaned myself off of Fruity Pebbles. That was a nightmare. I told
Courtney to hide the cereal boxes and to go grocery shopping for me so
I wouldn't have to go down the cereal aisle. Courtney is no help. Ever
since she stopped taking H she's been hitting the Captain Crunch pretty
bad. Her face is badly broken out. I don't know what to do. I feel despair
every day like I'm at the bottom of a large cereal box looking out. I
have a recurring nightmare where I'm the prize in the cereal box and a
kid's hand reaches into the box to get me out and I have to dodge it.
Maybe I'll go back on heroine. At least that way I won't have anymore
Here, Kurt talks about rehab.
People think I'm a junky because I like heroine. That's not the case.
It's because I have gastric distress. I've tried everything. My doctors
say my eating habits are atrocious. So what? A friend of mine has been
eating Twinkies for breakfast, lunch and dinner for the past five years
and I haven't heard one complaint out of her. It's not fair. Why is it
that she's blessed with a stomach of iron and I get this piece of crap?
So I've been using H to dull the pain. Now I'm in rehab with Courtney.
She said she had stomach problems too but it turns out that she's pregnant.
I don't think I can be a dad. What if my child inherits this stomach problem?
After a doctor suggests that his stomach ailment is due to heroin
use, Kurt wrote this letter to him.
I can't believe you have the audacity to claim that my heroine use is
the cause of my stomach problems. The pain isn't there when I do it, hence
the heroine isn't the problem. You're the Kajagoogoo of the doctor's world.
You're unoriginal. You're a one-hit wonder. Prescribe something to help
and then we'll talk.