I have come to the realization that I must now become the Angry Black Man.
(That's right! Don't let the punkass slave name fool you.) Someone has
to do it, and nobody seems to be steppin' up to the plate. When I talk about
angry black men, I don't mean those dumb ass brothas who are always starting
shit and getting' kicked off The Real World. A real Angry Black Man (ABM)
would never appear on such a show.
I'm talking about men like Marcus Garvey, Malcolm X, Denmark Vesey, Huey Newton.
Men who could intelligently articulate black rage, mobilize masses of people, and most
importantly, scare the hell outta whitey! Who today meets these criteria? Farrakhan has
gotten mellow in his old age. The Black Israelites certainly are angry, and I'm sure
they may scare a few tourists with their silly costumes and Biblical gibberish, but most
New Yorkers just ignore them. I like Rev. Al Sharpton, but I don't think he really
strikes fear into the hearts of white folks. A man with a perm is just not scary
(This goes for you too DJ Quik!)
You can't find any ABMs in popular culture either. Rap music used to be the purest
expression of black rage. Who is the angriest man in rap today? FUCKING EMINEM! There
aren't any more Niggaz with Attitude, just Niggaz with Affluence. They got rich making
music and movies, appearing on fuckin' Leno "showin' they teeth" and they
ain't angry any more. (Except maybe for Ren, cause he can't get on Leno).
Blaxploitation films of the `70s were terrible, but they had one common theme. Pam
Grier's BIG NAKED TITTIES! No, that's not it. I meant to say they were all about
sticking it to da Man! Superfly, Sweet Sweetback, The Spook Who Sat
By the Door. These were all films about men fighting against the system.
Today what do we have? Fucking Will Smith! Will Smith, who set the movement back 20 years
with his Jimmy Walker act in Wild Wild West, sunk to Stepin' Fetchit depths in
The Legend of Bagger Vance. In this movie he plays a mystical caddy who shucks and
jives and helps some dickless honkey get his golf swing back. What the Fuck?! What is up
with these movies like Bagger and The Green Mile with magical black men who appear
out of nowhere and whose sole purpose is to help white people. They won't help
their own people or even themselves. I'll say it again, What the Fuck?!
This is serious shit. There is no time to be complacent. We have made some strides,
but there is still injustice in the world. Racism still exists. Affordable housing and
healthcare aren't available to everyone. There is slavery in the Sudan. Michael Bolton
and Kenny G! Need I say more? Anger can lead to action. So, as of today, gone is the old
nerdy, quiet Dirk Smile who doesn't make waves and owns Weird Al Yankovic tapes
(Don't ask). This is the new Dirk who speaks out against injustice and fights the
system. Ooh gotta go! Who Wants to Be a Millionaire is on!