ApeSheet Review: Nissin Cup Noodles, Creamy Chicken Flavor

by Chuck Harder

I've never been a big fan of these j-rock bands, but I do like little Asian girls screaming and rocking hard on stage. Bands such as Cibo Matto and Pizzicato Five never rocked enough for me, but some of the lesser-known stuff like Seagull Screaming Kiss Her Kiss Her, Malice Mizer and Dir En Gray really rocks me hard.

That's why I truly enjoy Creamy Chicken Flavor, the latest and probably greatest offering from Nissin Cup Noodles. Things get rolling with the somewhat predictable, yet enjoyable, "Enriched Flour" before moving on to the more experimental "Partially Hydrogenated Vegetable Oil."

For me, the experimental stuff is a little like buying your girlfriend a strap-on. It's just too much. But Nissin Cup Noodles quickly takes it back to more comfortable basics with the three-chord rocker "Dehydrated Vegetables." It only gets more missionary with the Motley Crueesque trio of powder tunes, "Vegetable Powders," "Cream Powder," and the unbelievably catchy "Nonfat Milk Powder."

These numbers don't really offer anything new to the genre, but it's still kinda refreshing to hear somebody blaring out the basics better than Kiss. Plus, it's hot Asian chicks acting dirtier and raunchier than Jade Marcela. Who doesn't like that?

Some of the more tempting and satisfying stuff on Creamy Chicken Flavor comes a little later. My favorite, "Chicken Fat," just gets down deep in your guts and won't go away. But don't worry. That's a good thing. And, "Turmeric Color" is sure to be a classic. It just sorta seeps into your skin and infects you like Poison Ivy. Nissin Cup Noodles make me itch all right, the same kinda itch I get when I watch Anna Kournikova take on Martina Hingis.

With Creamy Chicken Flavor, Nissin Cup Noodles abandons the mainstream tastes of recent offering including Beef, Seafood and French Onion and takes us back to earlier classics such as the spicy Shrimp Picante and the tasty Teriyaki Chicken.

Creamy Chicken Flavor may not fulfil the tastes of the average consumer, but if you've got an appetite for tight, creamy Asian goodness, it just may be the right meal for you. This critic says dig in and don't stop until you're banging bottom.